Project Blue Fish
Transcript (Scene cuts to Nat playing blackjack with Tom, Fred and Frank) Tom: "I have 17." Frank: "I have 19." Fred: "I have 20." Nat: "I have 21! I win!" Nat grabs the pile of money in the middle of the table. Tom: "Again?" Frank: "Nancy's going to kill me when I tell her how much money I lost today." The guys laugh. (Scene cuts to Shubie walking into Nat's house) Shubie: "Hey ladies! Sorry I'm late, I just had to go to parent-teacher conferences at the school today." Sadie: "Ugh, those most be awful. Thank Neptune me and Fred don't have to go to those since Monroe and Tommy have their mother as their teacher." Shubie: "Yeah, I'm so sad that Nancy probably won't be able to come now. She was last in the line to meet with Mable." Martha: "Aw, that's a shame. Oh, here you go." Martha hands Baby Billy to Shubie. Shubie: "Thanks for watching him while I was gone. You're going to make a great mother someday Martha." Martha: "Thanks, me and Tom have been thinking about starting a family lately." Shubie: "Oh, that must be so exciting! I remember how excited I was during my first pregnancy." Sadie: "Yeah, but it won't be as exciting when you start giving birth." The women laugh. Shubie: "It's completely worth it though, I would be miserable without Susie and this little guy." Shubie hugs Baby Billy. Sadie: "I can't wait to have children with Nat... I mean more children with Fred!" Sadie laughs nervously. Tom(from upstairs): "Dang it! You must be cheating!" Martha: "Well there goes my retirement money." The women laugh. Sadie: "Oh! I almost forgot, I brought you some cookies from the store." Sadie pulls out a tray of cookies and offers them to Shubie. Shubie: "Thank you so much!" Shubie takes a cookie and Sadie offers the tray to Martha. Martha: "Sorry, but I'm trying to watch my weight this month." Shubie: "Wow, Martha, someone's trying to get that summer body a little early!" The women laugh. Sadie: "Oh, I'd better check if Fred has changed color yet." Shubie: "Is he sick?" Sadie: "No, but he's going to change color soon because of this massive heat wave we're getting tomorrow. You know how sometimes Fred isn't green? Well then happens due to the weather changing, and he's definitely going to change color at some point tonight." Shubie: "Oh, well that stinks." Sadie: "Yeah, and now our baby changes color all the time too, so it looks like I'll have to deal with this problem forever." Sadie gets up and goes upstairs. Martha: "Poor Fred. I would hate if I changed color because of the weather. I love being blue, it's why Tom married me." Shubie: "Tom married you just because you're blue?" Martha: "Well not just because I'm blue, but it was a big factor. It was so when other people saw us with Isabel, they would think that I was her mother and not Nancy." Sadie walks downstairs. Sadie: "Fred hasn't changed color yet, but he's bound to in at least a few hours." Fred: "Oh come on! How does Nat always win?!" Martha: "Maybe his losing streak will change too." The women laugh. Shubie(looks at her watch): "Well, it's getting late, and I'd better get Billy to bed." Martha: "Aww... Do we have to end this so soon? We have to do this again sometime." Shubie: "Yeah, but not on the night when there's parent teacher conferences." The women laugh. Sadie(yells to the guys upstairs): "Come on guys, it's time to go home!" The guys come downstairs. Shubie: "Bye everyone! I hope you had a great time!" Everyone leaves. (Scene cuts to a robber entering Nat's bedroom through a window) The robber walks around the room and knocks into a dresser which causes Shubie to wake up. Shubie: "Nat? Is that you?" Shubie gets up and sees the robber. Shubie: "Aah! A thief!" The robber gets startled and backs away from the bed which causes him to fall out of the window. Shubie grabs a camera and runs over to the window. Shubie: "Gotcha!" Shubie takes a picture of the robber as he gets up and runs away. (Scene cuts to two police officers in Nat's house) Officer: "So do you have any evidence on who this robber could be?" Shubie: "I have this picture." Shubie shows the officer a picture of a blue blur. Officer: "Do you have any other evidence that could help solve this case?" Shubie shakes her head. Officer (looks at her watch): "So you woke us up at two in the morning just to report a robbery where the robber didn't steal anything and the only evidence is a blurry picture and a ladder leading to a window? I'm going back home, I'm going to need all the sleep I can get when I have to take my kids to school tomorrow morning." The police officers leave Nat's house. Nat: "Well that didn't help at all. I guess they'll never find the robber." Shubie: "Yeah, but I will." (Scene cuts to everyone sitting in Nat's house the next day) Shubie: "Hello, the reason why I called all of you in here today is because someone broke into my house last night." The crowd gasps. Shubie: "Now, thankfully, the robber wasn't able to steal anything, but I wasn't able to find out who it was. The only evidence I have is this very blurry picture of something that is blue, which leads me to believe that the person who tried to rob my house is blue or was wearing something that was blue. So if you are blue..(Harold gasps) Are wearing something blue... (Tina-Fran gasps) or if any part of your body is blue... (Sally gasps) Then you are a suspect in this case." Mable: "How do you know how to solve a crime? You're not a detective!" Shubie: "It looks like we have our first suspect. (crowd gasps and Mable rolls her eyes) Mable, what were you doing last night?" Mable: "Well, last night was parent-teacher conferences at school. Parent-teacher conferences are always awful, every parent always complains about their kids' grades." (Flashback) Nancy Suzy Fish: "You only gave Isabel an A in history? She deserves an A plus!" (Flashback ends) Shubie: "Exactly! You must've hated meeting with me during the parent-teacher conferences so much that you told Lenny to sneak into my house and steal something from me!" Mabel: "What?! I would never do that! In fact, Lenny could never have done that because after parent-teacher conferences, Lenny always takes me out to dinner at Fancy!." Shubie: "Do we have any witnesses of Lenny taking Mable to Fancy!? (Lenny raises his hand) Besides you, Lenny." Tina-Fran: "I saw them walking in to Fancy! while I was driving home from work." Shubie: "Ok well then I guess the proves that Mable and Lenny didn't do it. But what about you Tina? You're wearing a blue dress, what where you doing last night?" (Flashback) Tina: "Well, I was driving home from work and I saw Lenny and Mable walking into Fancy!. Then later on, I saw Sally going for a late night walk as I was pulling into my driveway." (Flashback ends) Shubie: "A-ha! So it was Sally who pretended to be getting some excercise while in reality she walking over to my house so she could break into it." Sally: "What?! No, I always go on walks late at night. And anyways, I didn't even walk past your house last night!" Shubie: "Oh yeah? Where's your proof?" Sally: "Well after Tina past me, I walked towards Frank and Nancy's house. They had just gotten home from parent teacher conferences." (Flashback) Frank: "You're such a great mother. No other woman would act that way when talking about their kid. You know, you were the prettiest mother there by far." Nancy: "Oh, you're just saying that. I'm sure you'll make a great and handsome parent too someday." Frank: "Who says it has to be someday? Why can't it be now?" Nancy: "Oh, come here you!" Nancy closes the garage door. (Flashback ends and everyone gasps) Nancy: "What?! You heard that?" Sally: "I didn't want them to know I had eavesdropped on their conversation so I went back home and decided that I would just go on a longer walk the next night." Shubie: "Ok, so it looks like you couldn't have done it, but that doesn't mean that Frank didn't do it though! Maybe you two saw Sally and pretended to be acting romantic when really you were planning how on how to break into my house!" Nancy: "What why would we do that? Anyway, after the incident in our garage, we had something to eat and I remembered that tomorrow was trash day." (Flashback) Nancy: "Dear, could you go take out the trash? Tomorrow's trash day." Frank: "Sure thing honey." Frank picks up a trash bag and walks outside. Frank: "While I was taking out the trash, I spotted Harold watching Evelyn cooking dinner from his window through a pair of binoculars." (Flashback ends and the crowd gasps) Evelyn: "You were doing what?!" Harold: "No! I was, uh, clam watching last night! It's one of my hobbies." Shubie: "Hold it, Evelyn. That may prove that Frank couldn't have done it, but it doesn't prove that another blue fish, Isabel, didn't." Nancy: "What?! Why would I have my daughter do that?" Shubie: "I don't know, but does she have an alibi during the time the robbery took place?" Debbie: "Yeah, I was paid to babysit her while Mr. and Mrs. Fishbowl were at parent-teacher conferences. She went to bed way before this robbery happened." Shubie: "Ok, so the Fishbowls couldn't have done it. That brings us to Harold. Would you like to explain what happened." (Flashback) Harold: "Ok, so I was, uh, clam watching last night. Learning about clams is one of my favorite hobbies, you know, since I'm a scientist. Anyway, I didn't notice Frank taking out the trash, but I did see Martha sneaking out of her house later that night. I didn't want Martha to see me and think that I was looking at my pretty neighbor down the street, so I turned of the light in my room and went to bed." (Flashback ends) Shubie: "So it was Martha who broke into my house! Wow, of all the blue fish in this room, I never would've guess that you had done it." Martha: "No, I didn't!" Shubie: "Oh really? Then what were you doing outside so late at night then?" Martha: "I don't have to tell you anything!" Shubie: "Oh, well then I guess you'd rather talk to the police?" Shubie pulls out her phone. Martha: "Alright! I was sneaking out to the cake store! I'm so sorry, Tom! I know I've been trying to go on a diet, but that chocolate cake looked too delicious. So I sneaked out of my house last night and bought it. Shubie: "Did anyone witness Martha do this?" Mable: "I did. When Lenny and I were driving home from Fancy!, I saw Martha walking back to her house carrying a box of chocolate cake." Shubie: "Ok, well then I looks like all of you are innocent. You can all go home now, I guess I'll never find out who did it." Everyone begins to leave Nat's house. Sadie: "Thank Neptune this is over! I'm so glad my husband went to work today instead of watching a wannabe detective try to solve some stupid case!" Sadie closes the door. Shubie: "Oh, it was so stupid of me to think that I could solve this case." Nat: "Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. At least you tried to solve the mystery, most people would've not cared as much or would've given up at this point. Don't listen to Sadie, what you tried to do was a great thing, not just for yourself, but for the entire street. If you had solved the crime, then it would stop this thief from breaking into to other houses." Shubie: "Don't listen to Sadie... That's it! Nat, what did Sadie say before she left?" Nat: "Thank Neptune Fred went to work instead of listening to you?" Shubie: "I know who did this! It was Fred!" Nat: "What? How do you know that? Plus, Fred's green and the fish who broke into our house was blue." Shubie: "But sometimes Fred turns blue due to the weather, and yesterday Sadie said that he was probably going to turn blue today because of the heat wave that's coming to Bikini Bottom. Why didn't I think of this before? Fred was mad that you had beaten him so badly while you guys were playing blackjack, that he decided to sneak into our house and take the money back." (Scene cuts to Shubie knocking on the front door of Sadie's house the next day.) Fred opens the door. Fred: "Hello?" Shubie: "You were the one who broke into my house a few days ago!" Fred: "What?! No I wasn't!" Shubie: "Oh really? Then how do you explain this?" Shubie holds up the photo of the blurry, blue image. Fred: "That picture could be of anything!" Shubie: "Yeah, but you were the only blue person who was complaining all night because Nat took all of your money from winning the blackjack games. So to save yourself from embarrassment, you decide to sneak into my house later that night and take the money back." Fred: "You still have no proof of this happening! Who's going to believe you?" Shubie: "I don't know, but we could always try to see if the police will." Shubie pulls out her phone and begins to dial 911. Fred: "Stop! Don't call the police!" Shubie: "Then admit that you were the one who broke into my house!" Fred: "Ok, ok! It was me! I was so embarrassed that I lost all of my money to Nat, that I decided to try a get it back by sneaking into your house and taking it! I'm sorry!" Shubie closes her phone. Shubie: "That's all I needed to hear." Fred: "So you're not going to call the police?" Shubie: "No, but I won't if you apologize to me and my family in front of the entire street." Fred: "What?! I'm not doing that!" Shubie takes out her phone again. Fred: "Alright, alright! I'll do it." (Scene cuts to Fred talking to everyone in Nat's house) Fred: "I was the one who broke into Nat and Shubie's house a few nights ago. I broke into their house to try and take back the money Nat rightfully won from me during a blackjack game that night. I should have never thought that that was a good idea, and am really sorry for all of the trouble that Nat, Shubie and their kids had to go through in the few days since then. I hope that you all can forgive me." The audience claps. Nat: "Wow Shubie, I can't believe you actually solved this case!" Shubie: "Yeah well, I wouldn't have if you weren't such a great and encouraging husband." Nat: "Oh, you." Nat and Shubie begin to kiss, but stop when everyone starts to look at them strangely. Shubie: "Why don't we spend the money you won from Fred on a little romantic dinner for two tonight?" Nat: "Yeah, let's do that." (Scene ends) Category:Episodes Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts Category:HippoHead Category:2017